Where's the Love?

I feel as though I should say something in response to dear Maggie's post. The truth is, I love me a big helpin' of Minnesota Mom every day. Every. Single. Day. She gets me. I get her. She says all the things I wish I could. And so much better.

I guess that's why I love to razz her so much. Especially when she gets all pathetic and desperate, practically getting down on her knees, begging for some affirmation, just about willing to pay people to leave comments on her pretty little blog (if only John would agree to that second mortgage).

Because to me, it seems totally obvious that she is loved and admired, that she is gifted as a writer, that she is funny and wise and has the ability to make us all wish that she lived next door, that she is inspirational in her transparency and her humility and her motherhood and her whole-hearted commitment to follow the Lord, wherever He may lead.

To me. But maybe not to her.

I am sheepishly reminded once again not to get caught up in the selfish habit of scrolling through my Google Reader like a peeping Tom, racing through as many posts as I can down in a single gulp, without taking the time to connect with the dear ladies who often pour out their souls from behind that screen. Really, what is the point of reading all of these words, words, words if I never take the time to love the hearts behind the words? How very easily the reading of blogs becomes a narcissistic feeding of self rather than the beautiful building of community it could be.

Thank you, sweet Margaret, for the reminder. If it takes you groveling to point out the slight detour from my path to holiness, so be it. It's one of the best things we love about you anyway.

Debating...

...about whether to continue pretending to be a blogger or call it quits altogether.

I'm wondering if I'm really cut out for this. I don't seem to be able to find time for blogging in a balanced way. Like so many other areas of my life, it's either feast or famine. And I'm not entirely comfortable with that.

Yet I have a hard time walking away and letting it go forever. I know it doesn't have to be forever...but I don't like having it just hanging there.

This is a question that has been asked ad nauseam and I know that each person must ultimately find her own answer, but still I'll ask....how do you discipline yourself to blog in a way that is both consistent and responsible with so many endless demands on your time?

I do miss it.

Pondering...

Someone Hearts My Blog!

A few days ago the beautiful Kimberlee with the amazing hair (scroll down) and the gorgeous rosaries passed this loving award on to me. So sweet. I don't think she ever got around to telling me...but I found it anyway, Kimberlee. I'm glad she hearts my blog---I heart hers too. And I'm ever so grateful she gave me this award, because I don't have any brain cells available for more than one-word answers at the present moment.

I answered these questions last July, shortly before I met Kimberlee and her family at Michele's fun, fun, fun conference. (There I also met the sweetheart Heather, who gave this award to Kimberlee---the love just goes on and on...) Let's see how much has changed. I will stick to one-word answers, as I feel better following directions. (Parenthetical comments do not count.)

1. Where is your cell phone? Vera (hideous mauve no more!)
2. Where is dh? sleeping (as usual)
3. Your hair color? mousy
4. Your mother? peaceful
5. Your father? brave
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? forgettable
8. Your dream/goal? Heaven
9. The room you’re in? Elena's
10. Your hobby? walking
11. Your fear? widowhood
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
13. Where were you last night? bookclubbing
14. What you’re not? extroverted
15. One of your wish-list items? land (just 54 acres)
16. Where you grew up? Ohio
17. The last thing you did? laundry (exotic, this life I lead)
18. What are you wearing? fleece (scarlet)
19. Your TV? unused
20. Your pet? Chaser
21. Your computer? MacBook
22. Your mood? content
23. Missing someone? sisters
24. Your car? Sienna
25. Something you’re not wearing? fruit (at the moment)
26. Favorite store? Panera (why shop when you can eat?)
27. Your summer? gone (can't find a decent video---sorry!)
28. Love someone? passionately
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? tonight
31. Last time you cried? forgotten

Now comes the really hard part...choosing three blogs to nominate. How in the world do I choose just three when there are so many I love? Yet, the best part of receiving the award is passing it on---spreading the love, so to speak---so, somewhat randomly, here goes....

I hearby bestow the I Love Your Blog award upon :

***Sarah of Recapturing Our Catholic Patrimony, because she writes some really amazing stuff and because we share a love for the same parents;
***Rebecca of A Gypsy Caravan, because she is brilliantly funny and tenderhearted and because we share a love for the Indians and the Buckeyes; and
***Margaret of Minnesota Mom, because she makes me laugh and cry and pray and because we share a love for constant affirmation. :)

Congrats, Ladies, I love your blogs. Here are the rules, should you choose to accept:
* Display your award.
* Link back to the person who gave you the award.
* Nominate at least 3 other blogs.
* Put links to those blogs on yours.
* Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated.
* Enjoy your award!

I'm off to bed and all linked out!

Because Matilda Did It!

(and because I like the results)

You Are a Comma

You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Hmmm, I'm not so sure this is me either, Matilda, but since we commas and question marks are predicted to get along best, there must be something to it. Actually, this very much describes the person I would like to be (minus the bit about my friends feeling neglected), so maybe I was just more wishful than honest in answering the questions, or maybe I am closer to my ideal than I realized, being a somewhat modest person, or maybe this is a totally random quiz, whose results are completely coincidental to my desires and have no basis in reality, whatsoever. In any case, I am quite fond of commas, as you may have noticed, and all of the fun, and interesting, ways one can lengthen, not to mention, complicate, a sentence, which could, perhaps, be stated more simply by a more, shall we say, boring person, who, sadly, has no scope for the imagination.

(I'm quite certain I made some rather hideous comma-cal errors in that last sentence, but I'm hoping you'll let them slide for the sake of a little, very little, humor. Merci.)

Word to the Not So Wise

Attention, Home Educated High School Students:

If you are going to sneak a peek at the private family blog during your online science class,
do not be so foolish as to leave a comment with a time stamp.

I'm just sayin'.

Busted.

Ten Reasons I Am Thankful This Week

A year ago my friend Kristina wrote this beautiful post of thanksgiving, celebrating her blessings. It inspired many of us to take the time on Thursdays last November to write about ten things for which we were grateful.

With the arrival of a new November, I really wanted to host a fresh carnival of Thankful Thursdays this week, but my conscience simply won't allow me to spend much time on the computer these days. Still, I feel the need to make the time to reflect on the good stuff in my life and to write about it.

If you feel inspired to join me, please leave your link in the comments so that I can come and count your blessings with you. Maybe I'll be able to pull it together in a formal way next Thursday. Maybe.

Without further ado, here are ten reasons I am thankful this week.

I am thankful to be living in Ohio once again. Belgium provided a host of enriching experiences, but it was so, well, foreign. I was born and raised in the opposite corner of this state, and my oldest daughter was born right here in this city. It is neither the most beautiful nor the most exciting place I've ever been, but it feels like home. People are genuine and friendly, and I'm happy here.

I'm thankful for the tremendous support among Catholic home schoolers in our new hometown. We plugged into the community right away and have made some wonderful new friends. There's an immediate sense of being kindred spirits when you share such fundamental convictions about how to raise your family.

I'm thankful for the opportunities embraced by my oldest daughter, Elena. She really wanted to go to high school this year, and we convinced her to try a year at home in our new community. Fortunately, the Catholic home school world is alive and well for high schoolers both in our city and online. She's been blessed with challenging online classes, fun extracurricular activities, and many good friends who share her beliefs about faith and life. She's giving it her all.

I'm thankful to witness my children growing closer and closer. Elena was an only child for eight years, and it was painful to watch her loneliness in growing up alone, especially after having been raised in a large, happy family myself. It warms my heart to take my kids to the park and observe the fun and camaraderie they share with one another, especially the youngest four. They truly are each other's best friends and love being together.

I'm thankful for my husband, who did the grocery shopping Tuesday after work and then scrubbed the kitchen floor on his knees later that night. He never fails to look for ways to make my life easier. And he never complains about picking up the slack (or crumbs) I leave behind. Not only that, he took me on a date Wednesday night. To Lowe's. (Romantic devil.) To look at paint color swatches. Not that I'm thinking of changing those mauve walls. Not at all.

I'm thankful for a new parish that offers a reverent Liturgy, a beautiful setting, a kind and holy pastor, and a faithful body of believers. I'm thankful that we didn't have to celebrate All Saints Day alone this year. I'm also thankful for the lack of traffic in our city, which makes the drive downtown doable. It's so worth it.

I'm thankful for the peaceful week I spent with my kids at Clear Creek in mid-October. This little state park in western Pennsylvania is my home away from home and my favorite place on earth. We hiked beneath the falling leaves of amber and crimson, we listened to our Indians lose the pennant and toasted marshmallows anyway beside the campfire, we played and prayed together in a rustic one-room log cabin without running water or the internet. On the weekend, we were joined by some family and friends and, best of all, Daddy. As he was welcomed into our fairyland late Friday night by a streaming procession of dancing leaves, he remarked, "this place is so good for the soul." I could have easily stayed for another week or more.

I'm thankful for good food, which nourishes the body, and good books, which nourish the spirit. Both bind our family together in memorable ways and take us on journeys to faraway places. We couldn't do without either.

I'm thankful to be living near family again. After three years abroad, we are savoring every single visit. Next to Jim, my siblings are my best friends in the world, and Jim's family is like my own. The cousins are all amazingly close, on both sides, and it's pure joy to see the love and laughter being passed down to the next generation. I'm especially thankful to live just an hour from my sister Karen, who, like my husband, never fails to look for ways to serve me and always inspires me with her generous heart and vivacious presence.

I'm thankful for a place to record these thoughts. And for the sacrificial gift of my husband in letting me write them. And for the faithful readers who continue to check back here even when my posts are extremely sporadic. Jim used to tell me not to worry what you think, just to write for myself. But honestly, I'd rather write for you.

Thanks for staying with me so long, both today and this past year. May God bless you with a thankful Thursday.

Dude....

I had no idea I used big words.



And I don't even play cool music here...yet.

HT: Nutmeg

Real Learning?

If your seven-year-old reads over your shoulders as you are composing a new blog post, does that count as reading practice for the day?

Just wondering.

She did amazingly well.

My Preschoolers Lighten the Load

I want to take this moment to thank my two youngest children, otherwise known as Charlie and Qiu Qiu (Choo Choo), for providing me with (what I deemed to be) blogworthy material this past week.

At this point in time, I have virtually no brain cells available for creating original posts myself. If it weren't for their...um...colorful, shall we say...personalities, it would have been mighty quiet here at The Journey.

Believe me, I could have written down several more instances of their cuteness, like the day the three of us were riding in the van together and they were counting pickup trucks. Some kids count slugbugs (VW Beetles); my little ones like pickups. After only a mile and a half, Jacinta had somehow racked up one hundred. (Right.) I heard her ask Charlie, "what comes after a hundred?"

Without hesitation, Charlie responded, "Forty."

To this, Qiu Qiu squealed, "oooh, good boy, Charlie!...Pickup! I have forty."

Okay, so we have some work to do in math. But you have to admit, if Charlie had said one hundred and one, it would not have been nearly as memorable. There is plenty of time to learn to count...but these days of their innocent, sweet cluelessness will pass all too quickly. I intend to savor them as long as I can.

Thankfully, this blog is helping me to record a few of these precious memories, so that they won't be lost forever, as is sadly the case for their older sisters' funny preschool moments. For that reason alone, I'll keep writing them down, even if they aren't as meaningful to others who don't know my kids. It is enough that they help me to remember and bring back a smile.

Some days, it is the only joy I have to offer here. It can't all be a deep, heavy look at the inner workings of my melancholic psyche. How weary would that be?

The Cold, Hard Truth about Me

It has come to my attention that my lovely cyber buddy Maria has nominated me for a Rockin' Nice Blogger award. I had the blessed privilege of meeting the Ladybug Mommy and her beautiful children this summer in their hometown...and what a treasured meeting it was! That day will be remembered fondly in my heart forever because, well, Maria is simply that amazing. Oh, she rocks, to be sure, and she goes beyond the upper limits of being nice. If I had to use one word to describe her, it would be effervescent. Not because she smelled like the soda pop that Benedict had just spilled on her, but because joy and love bubble out of her at every moment. Within seconds, I felt as if I had known and been loved by Maria all of my life. It's a gift, I tell you, and I love that in a person.

However, as much as I love and respect dear Maria, I'm afraid that my conscience will not allow me to accept this nomination. It is a reflection of her sweet ability to view me through her loving, generous eyes and has no basis in reality whatsoever.

In the first place, while I'd like to think that I am pretty darn hip-happenin' (for a Catholic home educating mom), it would be a stretch to say that I rock. Yes, I do listen to K-LOVE and WOW 2007, but most of my rockin' takes place in that brown chair up above. It's okay. I came to terms with my squareness several years ago.

More significantly...and I'm sorry, Maria, for any false impressions I may have given you, but...I am definitely not nice. At least one of my kids reminds me of this on any given day. For example, I won't let Charlie have candy for breakfast. I make Jacinta brush her hair at least once a week. I won't let Mei Mei make phone calls after 9pm. I make Nastia walk, rather than gallop or canter, in the house. I won't let Valya use money from her college savings to buy an Ipod. I make Elena eat citrus. What can I say? I am a mean mommy.

Given that these little souls are the ones to observe my behavior 24/7, I must defer to their assessment of the degree of my niceness. I'm sure they would have a few (uncomplimentary) things to say about my ability to rock as well, if I dared to ask them. I'm afraid I just don't cut the mustard for this award.

In declining the nomination, I'm pretty sure I also surrender the opportunity to nominate others (which is actually quite convenient, since I can't figure out who has already been nominated elsewhere and I hate to name names and leave anyone out). But I hope you will indulge me with just one consolation nomination for the dual award of Rockin' Nice Blogger: my friend Marianne at Catholic Moonlight in Vermont. This post alone makes her the perfect candidate for the Rockin' bit, and she always leaves me the Nicest comments. I can't wait to visit her and her family in Vermont someday.

Thanks anyway, Maria, you sweet fountain of love.

Au Revoir...for a while

If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you've grown to expect frequent blogging breaks from me. I suppose that I am destined to be a sporadic poster, no matter how much I desire otherwise.

So much to say, so little time.

I will be hopping aboard a plane next week with all of my children. The time has come to leave Belgium. Amazing! In the next (too) few days, there await many rooms to declutter, many suitcases to pack, and many dear friends to hug a tearful good-bye.

Needless to say, no time for blogging.

I'll be back, but I don't know when. I promise to post some photos from our recent trip, which was so very wonderful and rejuvenating. If you've sent a recent comment or email lately, thank you so much! They truly make my day. I do hope to be able to respond to you, and I appreciate your patient understanding.

Just so you know...you can find more archived posts at the former home of this blog: The Journey of a Mother's Heart. They will all be transferred here...eventually.

Until next time, know that you are in my prayers. May God bless you and hold you close.

I'm Back!

…but only for a minute. And if my dear mother-in-law, who sentenced me to an early bedtime, happens to notice the time of this posting, I will be in deep, deep trouble.

Isn’t it funny that as soon as I pass my free trial month of blogging and officially start paying for Typepad to make it easy for me, I can’t think of a single thing to write? Isn’t that just hilarious? My accountant definitely thinks so. I’m sure he does.

Well, hopefully I will be a little bit inspired tomorrow and find some time (before 1am!) to write a few thoughts. But tonight, I really want to send out belated (of course) Thanksgiving blessings to all of my dear friends who come to visit me here. I am so very grateful for the love and encouragement you have poured upon me during the last month. You have made every late night, every word I anguished over, every pot that boiled over…so worthwhile. What a special blessing you are to me, knowing that I am not alone in this journey. I give thanks and offer prayers for each and every one of you. Merci.

Note to My Readers

After ten days of blogging, I have the following observation to share.

Although I only have a small number of readers (and I think I rather prefer it this way), I'm sure I have gathered the kindest and most generous ones. Thank you so much for visiting and for taking the time to leave a note. Your encouraging comments motivate me to try to find a way to fit this whole endeavor into my busy life. And you remind me that when I read the blog of a friend, I should not just peek in the windows...but instead, find a moment to knock on the door and say hello.

Merci, mes amies.

Just so you know...

I do have to confess that I did plagiarize the title for this blog. From myself. I first used it five years when I wrote an essay after our first adoption. If you're in the mood for another adoption story, you can read it here at the website of our beloved agency, America World.

In case you're wondering, the photos included in the essay are not my daughters; they are other children who've been adopted through our agency. If the Lord ever gives me the graces (and I find the time and the courage) to write the book that tells the story of our family, I will plagiarize that title again. It just so fits how I reflect upon my life.

A Little about Me

This seems a bit backwards, since I've already posted, but I think I should write a little introduction as I begin this blog. I am a Catholic, home educating mother of six. That pretty much says it all. And it will come as no surprise if you've come here from the Real Learning Forums. I am a faithful reader there but a faithfully sporadic and woefully infrequent contributor. You may recognize my signature line, which describes me as the mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince. None of us are one bit Scottish, but we were in the midst of Martha books when I formally joined RL, we had just returned from a trip to Scotland, and my son is named Charlie. It seemed to fit. My self-conscious 13yo was a bit embarrassed for me when she saw it. :)

I've been wanting to start this online journal for quite some time, inspired by the many lovely ones I enjoy each day. (I'd link to some of them but would hate to leave anyone out. If you are a member of the RL blogroll, please assume that I'm referring to you.) It was going to be a present I gave myself for my 40th birthday, but that day came and went two months ago and no blog was begun. For weeks, I composed posts in my head. I couldn't stop thinking of things to write. When the day actually came, I found that I had nothing to say. Ah well. The Loveliness of Babies provided just the impetus I needed to take the plunge.

I'll save the rest of the details of my very exciting life (ha) for future posts. I have to pace myself, you know. Since I love putting faces to names and stories, I'll close this with a photo of my kids and me from a recent quite spectacular trip to Switzerland. (We seem to have no photos where both parents are present. Does anyone else have this problem?)