This Valley of Tears

A dear friend of mine buried her sister-in-law today. A forty-seven-year-old mother of three grown boys, a woman who had no idea a week ago tonight that she would die the following morning. The wife of a man who kissed her and went to work, not knowing he would never hear her voice again, never see her beautiful smile this side of Heaven. I have not met this family, but their tragedy has shaken my world. My heart aches so deeply for them, because I know. I know.

I know what it is like to lose a dearly loved one unexpectedly and far too soon. I know the fog and the rage and the unfathomable sorrow. The pain that you fear you will never overcome. The loss of not only that person but of all of the dreams you hoped to share and live with her. The helplessness of being unable to ease the agony of those grieving around you. The seemingly utter pointlessness of it all.

And I am reminded once again of the fragility of this gift we call life. Losing my mother so early imprinted this lesson on my heart forever...yet I still fail to remember it sometimes. I get caught up, wrapped up, tangled up in so many things of no lasting significance. I forget to remember that this day could very well be my last and I should spend it well. And even if it is not, the days are numbered and they will never be enough.

It is no coincidence that these words of sweet, gentle Ann touched and moved and challenged me today:

"The world I live in is loud and blurring and toilets plug and I get speeding tickets and the dog gets sick all over the back step and I forget everything and these six kids lean hard into me all day to teach and raise and lead and I fail hard and there are real souls that are at stake and how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy---before these six beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet? How do you open the eyes to see how to take the daily, domestic workday vortex and invert it into the dome of an everyday cathedral? Could I go back to my life and pray with eyes wide open?"

from One Thousand Gifts (pages 120-1), by Ann Voskamp

Lord, help me to pray with eyes wide open, to embrace each moment, to give thanks for each gift You send. I don't want to waste another second failing to love.

Will you please offer a prayer for my friend's family today?